We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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