Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
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She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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