when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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