Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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