Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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