I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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