I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't put those talents on a resume
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
