Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
