I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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