physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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