too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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