i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
