We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
