Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
