Plan B is the new Plan A
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
