I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
