South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
