I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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