Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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