I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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