That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
