Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
