how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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