Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
