so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
