fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
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He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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