...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
