So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i think i just lost a toe
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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