Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
