I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
