why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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