I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
