Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
