I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
