She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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