i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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