I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm bleeding and have questions
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
