What a fucking waste of an outfit
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
