Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I want to be your penis for a week.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
