He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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