I cannot find my penis.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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