If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me