This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
