but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
