Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
