I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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