No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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