I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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