I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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