once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The air taste purple.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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