check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
