Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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