i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
