The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
