We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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