it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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