Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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