The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
