no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
