; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
