haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
