Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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