Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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